Being a frog isn't easy. Ever see a
frog smile? Want to know why? Stress.
Ponds are not very relaxing. They are
dirty, crowded and noisy. Bzzzzzzzz. Brrrrreeepppp. Brrrrrraaaapppp.
Wwwwwaaakkk. It makes you want to scream! Or croak.
I needed to get away.
So I looked over some frog vacation brochures and heard that
Egypt was a nice place to visit. Warm weather all day. Cool
breezes all night. And the Nile River. The Nile is a beautiful
flowing river, filled with fresh blue water. Not like the icky,
smelly green pond water that nobody bothers to clean. Yuuuccckkk!
I packed up my beach chair, umbrella
and a book. I hopped onboard a shipping boat and headed to Egypt.
Little did I know, this was a bad time to be in Egypt.
As I jumped off the boat, excited about
my first day of vacation, I saw the most disgusting thing. The
Nile had turned red. This was not right! The Nile is supposed
to be blue.
I decided to complain. A little, bitty gnat told me to talk
to some guy name Pharaoh. He was in charge of this area. I headed
to the palace to give him a piece of my mind.
When I arrived, Pharaoh wasn't in a
good mood either. He wasn't smiling. Standing before him was
some old guy wearing stinky, dirty clothes, who looked like
he had been hanging out with sheep all day.
"Turn the Nile back to blue," Pharaoh told him.
"Let the Israelites go," the guy shot back.
"Moses, I order you," Pharaoh pounded his fist.
"Nobody tells God what to do!" Moses walked out.
So this was the guy who ruined my vacation. Moses. He's the
one who turned the blue Nile red. I needed to talk to him.
I hopped up on Moses' cloak, then to
his arm and shoulder. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind.
Moses saw me and held me up to his face.
But as the first word came to the tip of my rather long tongue,
I heard a voice. The voice of God.
"Moses, Pharaoh's heart is mad. You must show him that
I am the one true God. Now, stretch out your staff and fill
this land with frogs like the one in your hand."
"Now hold on a minute!" I
croaked. "I'm on vacation. I came here to get away from
the crowds and noise to find some peace and quiet."
Too late. Moses lifted his staff and it happened.
Thousands, no, millions of frogs poured out. Hopping, jumping,
croaking, burping. Every where I looked…frogs. The only
thing I could hear…frogs. The only thing I could smell…frogs.
I never knew there were so many frogs!
Frogs on the left and on the right.
Frogs piled on top of other frogs. Frogs leap frogging frogs.
Frogs as far as the eye could see.
There were so many frogs they had crushed my beach chair and
umbrella and tore some pages from my book.
I was mad. I went back to talk to Moses.
Moses again stood in front of Pharaoh.
"Get these frogs out of here," Pharaoh told him. I
couldn't agree more.
"Let the Israelites go," Moses shot back.
"Moses, I order you," Pharaoh stood and shook his
fist.
"Nobody tells God what to do!" Moses walked out.
Can't these two get along?
As I walked back to the Nile, I noticed
that the frogs were leaving. Finally, I thought. A little peace
and quiet.
I found my broken beach chair and crooked umbrella and my book
with a few pages torn out. As I began to read, I looked up and
saw Moses stretch out his staff and hit the ground.
Oh no, not again…
This time millions, no, billions of
nasty gnats flew into town. These little pesky pests make you
itch and scratch. I found that friendly gnat. He wasn't too
happy either.
"One minute I was sitting down at the table, next thing
I knew all my brothers, sisters, grandparents, uncles, aunts,
first cousins, second cousins, third cousins all flew into town!
I don't have enough food to feed them!"
Now I was really getting mad. It was time to talk to the one
really in charge. God.
"Hey God, I'm having an awful vacation
in Egypt, thanks to Moses. Red, stinky Nile water. An invasion
of burping frogs. An army of nasty gnats. Can't I get a little
peace and quiet?"
"Sorry frog," said God. "You see, I am trying
to help Pharaoh understand that I am God and I am more powerful
than him. His heart is mad at me."
Talk about mad…I was mad! Hopping mad. I hopped madly away.
But my terrible vacation didn't end
there. After the gnats left, the buzzing flies moved in. Now
I like flies. They are a frog's favorite food. But they are
noisy! Millions of buzzes all buzzing at the same time. It was
so noisy, I lost my appetite.
Pharaoh's heart got mad.
And I got madder.
Next all the animals got sick. Cows,
horses, sheep, donkeys all came down with stomach aches, burning
fever, itchy eyes, non-stop drooling, runny snot, ear wax build-up,
scratchy skin, swollen tongues and achy feet.
It was gross.
Pharaoh's heart got mad.
And I got madder.
Then, every man and animal had sores
on them. Big, puffy, red bumps appeared on every thing. Even
me! They were worse than warts! The sores hurt when you moved.
They hurt when you didn't move. They hurt when you touched them.
They hurt when you didn't touch them. They hurt all the time!
Pharaoh's heart got mad.
And I got madder.
Once the sores went away, I thought
the worst was over. Boy was I wrong. Hail. Giant balls of ice
fell from the sky, crashing into the ground, smashing everything
in its path. I ran for cover.
The frozen meteors busted up trees, branches, plants, flowers,
bushes…even my beach chair, umbrella and book.
Pharaoh's heart got mad.
And I got madder.
You think that was it? Of course not.
The one bug, hated and feared by every other bug, is the locust.
Now I thought I had seen a lot of frogs, gnats and flies. Add
them all up and you have the number of locusts that swarmed
into Egypt.
Locusts eat everything in their path. If it doesn't move and
it's not made of rock, locusts will take a bite out of it. They
have the worst table manners. They eat with all six of their
hands. They talk with their mouths full. They don't even use
a napkin!
Pharaoh's heart got mad.
And I got madder.
I was glad to see the locusts go, but
as soon as they left…darkness. Somebody turned off the
sun. It was so dark, I couldn't see my tongue in front of my
face. I couldn't move because I was afraid to trip over something,
so I stood in one place…for days.
Pharaoh's heart got mad.
But I…didn't get madder.
It was lonely and scary in the darkness,
but I thought about all the problems I faced on my vacation.
I was tired of being mad. I went to God.
"God, I'm sorry I've been so angry. This vacation has been
awful, but instead of getting mad at you, I should have been
coming to you for help and strength. Getting mad did nothing
but get me madder."
God was nice about it. "That's okay frog. I forgive you.
You see, Pharaoh won't listen to me either and his heart is
really mad. Instead of asking for forgiveness, he wants to get
angrier. Now I must show him how powerful I am. It's the worst
thing he will ever face."
Worse than the red Nile, burping frogs,
nasty gnats, buzzing flies, sick cows, itchy sores, frozen meteors,
hungry locusts and the darkest darkness?
"Run to the house of an Israelite and stay there. I gave
them instructions that will keep them safe. Hurry! Time is running
out!"
So I hopped all the way to the house
of an Israelite family. They were preparing the house and shutting
the door when I squeezed in at the last minute.
Inside, the family ate and listened as a terrible cry echoed
through the streets. I didn't want to know what was happening,
but I was glad I was safe.
The next day, Pharaoh gave up his anger
and let Moses and all the Israelites go. Everyone quickly packed
up and left. Egypt was a mess and my vacation time was over,
so I decided to go with them.
We walked for miles. The whole time I thought about how dumb
it was to get mad at God. I started to feel better. Even my
stomach felt better.
I even started to smile.
Up ahead I saw the Red Sea. Hmmm, sure
looks like a nice place for a vacation…
But that's another story.
