Proposal

Writing Sample

S.L.O.P. - Super League of Pigs
"The Flood of Dr. Sludge"

Farmer G had a farm…and on this farm he had five pigs…Luther, Calvin, Josie, Newton and Max.
These five pigs looked like ordinary pigs, caked with mud and eating garbage, but in truth, they were far from ordinary. They were the members of the Super League of Pigs, also known as S.L.O.P.
Their mission-TO CLEAN UP THE WORLD!

So while our heroes wait for their next assignment, they wallowed in their favorite place-a messy mud bath-and "pigged out" on such fine delicacies as rotten banana peels, moldy orange rinds and crusty week-old bread.
"The more trash we eat, the less we throw out," Newton the genius pig, said, popping another half-eaten corn cob in his mouth.
"Hey, don't eat so much," said Luther, their fearless leader. "You're making a pig of yourself!"
That was their favorite joke and it always got a laugh. You have to be there…

Luther leaned back, smiling. He checked to see if anyone was looking. Then he pulled out from behind him a big, tasty apple. Luther did not like trash, preferring healthy food, but he would never tell the other pigs.
It was considered not P.C.P.C. (Politically Correct Pig Conduct).

"Ooooo, weee, I luuuuv mud," Calvin, the country pig yelled as he did a belly-flop swan dive.
"Me too," Josie agreed. She loved anything the boys liked and could do anything the boys did better.
"Actually, we pigs love mud because it keeps the mosquitoes and flies off us," Newton said, adjusting his glasses. "Also, pigs don't sweat so the mud keeps our skin cool."

"I don't know about that," Luther said. "I was sweating last week when we had to battle that giant blob of nuclear waste. If it wasn't for Max and that humungous wet vac he found, we'd all be sweating radiation."
The others agreed, nodding towards Max.

Max said nothing. He just sat off to the side chewing on his toothpick. No one knew where he was from, how he got there or what he was planning next. He got the job done and that's all that mattered.
If he wanted to communicate, Max pulled a card from his pocket. This time he did and handed it to Luther. It read: No problem.

Then they got the call.
OINK, OINK, OINK squealed the alarm.
Luther turned to Josie. "That's it! Let's go!"
Josie pulled on one of the posts around their pig pen, which opened a secret door underneath. Down, down, down they fell until they arrived in their secret headquarters, dressed up, cleaned off and ready to get to work.

Their Pollution Indication Guidance System (that's right, PIGS) monitored environmentally dangerous and messy activity all round the world. The distress call was coming from the Alpha sector. Something big was going down.
The silhouette of Mr. Big, the head pig, came on the screen. His face was always out of the light and his voice altered so no one could know his secret identity.

"S.L.O.P., the world is about to face a grave danger. Dr. Sludge has threatened to flood the world with a gross and deadly factory waste. All life on this planet could be wiped out. You need to stop him. But let me warn you…it could get icky."

Newton shivered. "I was afraid of that." He hated icky.
Luther nodded. "We're ready, sir. This is too important to worry about ourselves. We must do anything to clean up this world."
Calvin was already sitting at the wheel of the S.L.O.P. Rocket. "Let's go, slow pokes. Watcha waitin' fer? The cow to jump over the moon?"

Newton hesitated. "I should stay here and work on my secret sludge de-materilizer. It could come in handy as we face this evil villain."
"You don't have a secret sludge de-materializer," Luther said.
"I know! I just thought of it!"

Newton was a coward and everyone knew it. His genius brain was always needed for their adventures, so he had to go with them even if he didn't want to go with them.
So, Max snuck up behind Newton and karate chopped him on the neck. Newton blacked out. Max threw Newton over his shoulder and tossed him into the rocket.

As S.L.O.P. loaded into the rocket, Calvin revved the engines. "Newton can build these here contraptions, but he's 'fraid to ride in them. I don't git it!"
"Maybe it has to do with the way you drive…" Luther said as Calvin hit the accelerator.
"YEEEEEHOGGGGG," Calvin squealed, as they launched out of their underground headquarters, proving that Luther was right.

Farmer G looked over his crops with his wife Honey. Suddenly a rocketship blasted out of the pig pen and flew into the sky.
Farmer G watched the fiery trail disappear into the atmosphere.
"Don't see that every day."
Honey nodded.

Thousands of miles across the ocean, half way around the earth, S.L.O.P. arrived in a mountainous region.
Newton woke up, rubbing his neck. "What happened? How did I get here?"
Max gave the slightest grin.

At the top of the tallest mountain on earth stood a bleak and frightening factory. Luther assessed their situation. "There it is. The factory of Dr. Sludge."
Josie was two steps ahead of them. "Let's get up there and shut him down."
Luther tried to stop her. "No wait, Josie!"

Too late. Josie crossed a laser, designed to detect intruders.
Alarms blared from the factory. They had been detected.
"Sorry," Josie said.

The pigs waited, wondering what would happen next.
A face appeared on a large jumbo screen on the factory wall. It was Dr. Sludge, a big, bloated scientist, covered with sludge stains and who occasionally oozed sludge out his pores.
"Testing. Testing. Hello. Hello. Is this on? Can you hear me? Oh good. Welcome S.L.O.P. I've been expecting you."

"Dr. Sludge, we meet again," Calvin countered.
"Have we met before? I don't think so," Dr. Sludge scratched his oozing head.
Calvin looked at the other pigs. They shook their heads. Nope, this was the first time.
"Sorry. I guess not. My bad." Calvin shut up. For now.

"You have come to stop me from flooding the world with factory sludge. Well, you won't. My Sludge-O-Matic is ready to produce so much sludge, it will wipe out every animal and human it touches. And me, high atop this mountain will be the only living creature around. Then, I will rule the world! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Dr. Sludge sneezed into a handkerchief. Sludge came out.
"Sorry."

"Basically you'll rule yourself if you're the only one left alive," Josie said.
Dr. Sludge thought for second as he wiped sludge off his brow. "Yes, I guess you're right. Okay. Then I will rule…MYSELF! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Dr. Sludge laughed. All evil villains laugh. They're crazy.
He coughed up a sludge ball.
"Sorry."
Newton felt sick. "This guy's icky."

"No more talk! It's time to begin. Release the sludge!" Dr. Sludge commanded.
Right then sludge started pouring out from all four sides of the factory. Thick, smelly, awful sludge.
"Have fun! I'm late for my sludge bath. Bye." Dr. Sludge turned around and jumped into a sludge bath.
"Ewww. Now that's REALLY icky!" Newton shivered.

The sludge was filling up around them.
"Head for the hill," Luther shouted. But pigs don't climb hills very quickly and they started to slip. They could not get very far.
Calvin yelled, "We're not gonna last long. If we get a mess of this sludge on us, we'll become ex-pigs!"

Newton had an idea. He pulled a receiver out of his pocket. "I will contact the S.L.O.P. Cruiser using an ultra-high frequency and activate the craft's homing system."
"Don't explain it," Josie screamed. "Just do it."
Newton punched in their coordinates.

The sludge grew closer to their heels.
"Whoooweeee, that there sludge sure stinks," Calvin cried.
"I like to get messy just as much as the next pig," Luther said, "But this factory sludge is just awful." Now when pigs think something stinks…it really stinks!
"Newton…where's that Cruiser?" said Josie.
"There it is!" Newton cried, looking to the sky.

The S.L.O.P. Cruiser rocketed through the air, then landed in the sludge, changing into a high speed boat. It sped across the sludge and picked up the stranded pigs.
"We're safe," Josie cried.
Max handed Josie a card. But what about them?
They all turned and saw a number of animals running up the mountain, trying to escape the sludge.

"The animals! We can't leave them there. We have to pick them up." Everyone agreed with Josie.
Calvin sped the Cruiser over to the animals, while the S.L.O.P. team loaded them onboard. Squirrels, cows, mountain lions, goats, chickens, raccoons, opossum, deer, lizards, mice and eagles hopped, slithered, flew and ran on board, trying to escape the sludge.

Luther shook his head. "It's the animals that suffer the most from the factory sludge."
Newton agreed. "The animals ingest the factory sludge and it poisons them. Even if it just gets on their fur or feathers, the animals suffer terrible consequences."

The sludge grew deeper and deeper, as far as the eye could see. Pretty soon, sludge would fill the entire mountain region then spill out into the whole earth.
"What're we gonna do?" Calvin asked.

Josie paced on the deck on the cruiser, "We can't just float here. We have to do something."
"I'm thinking," Newton thought.
Even Max looked worried and he never looked worried.

Calvin watched Dr. Sludge on the screen taking a sludge bath, washing his hair with sludge, gargling with sludge, brushing sludge on his hairy back.
"If only this here earth were like one of 'dem 'dere bath tubs," Calvin wondered. "Then we could drain all the sludge out."

Luther jumped to his hind feet. "That's it! Calvin, you're brilliant!"
"I am?" Calvin had never been called brilliant before.
"Newton, do you have your Ultra-Sound Earth Radar?"
"I installed one onboard all of my ships."
"Good, check this area. See if there's an inactive volcano around here."
"I'm one step ahead of you." Newton punched in a bunch of numbers on his radar. "Processing…scanning….yes! Two miles east."

"Calvin, get us there, fast!"
Newton held on to Josie. "I was afraid of that!"
Calvin grabbed the steering wheel and throttled the cruiser to high. "Fast is my middle name. Hang on, little forest creatures!"
Off they went! "YEEEEEHOGGGG!" The pigs and animals hung on for their lives.

S.L.O.P. arrived at the inactive volcano, right where Newton said it would be.
Josie stood at the bow of the cruiser. "There it is, Luther. But what now?"
"Volcanoes have caverns leading up from the core of the earth. If we can pull the plug on this sludge bath, it would drain deep into the earth and disintegrate in the molten lava, away from all these animals."
"Great idea! Now, how are we going to do that?"

Luther stopped. "I have no idea. I hadn't thought that far in advance."
Luther thought. So did Josie. And Newton and Calvin.
Even the other animals were coming up with ideas.
The sludge was rising, about to obliterate the mountain.

Luther turned to Max. "Max, do you have an idea?"
Max smiled.
He pulled out a card. Luther read it: I thought you would never ask.

Max reached into his jacket and pulled out a…rocket launcher.
Newton stepped closer to look at it. "Where did you get that?"
Max hid it behind his back.
Newton recognized it. "That's my water-proof surface-to-ocean rocket launcher! You stole that from my lab!"

Max shouldered the rocket launcher. He didn't have time to talk. He never had time to talk. He aimed at the volcano.
"Everybody down!" Josie squealed as everyone (literally) hit the deck.
The rocket swooshed out of its launcher and splashed into the sludge.

Everyone waited…and waited…and waited.
If the rocket made impact, they didn't know. They couldn't know. Max had to blindly fire into the murky sludge and hit a target he couldn't see, miles underneath them. Not very good odds.
The sludge continued to rise. It was about to submerge the mountain region.

"The rocket must have missed. Maybe it didn't work, Newton," Josie suggested.
Newton did not like to be told his inventions did not work. "Of course it did. Maybe it just hit the wrong place."

Max looked at Newton. Max didn't like to be told he missed. Newton swallowed nervously. "I'm not saying you're a bad aim… but it was a tricky shot…the odds were improbable."
"We're running out of time." Luther watched as the sludge rose higher and higher.

Then, suddenly, the sludge stopped rising. It started to level off.
"It's going down!" Josie squealed.
Slowly, everyone could feel it. The sludge was sinking.
"It worked! Max, it was a direct hit!" Newton hugged Max. "I knew you could do it!"
Max didn't like to be hugged.
"Sorry," Newton said, straightening his lab coat.

Now the sludge drained faster…and faster…and faster.
"Sure is speedin' up," Calvin noticed.
Luther didn't like the sound of that. "Uh, oh. If the sludge is getting sucked out, that means, we're going to get sucked out too!"

The S.L.O.P. Cruiser was slowly getting pulled into the hole on the side of the volcano.
"We'll be sucked into the core of the earth!" Newton screamed.
"We'll be roasted pigs!" Calvin cried.

The swirling drain pulled the S.L.O.P. Cruiser closer. Calvin fired the engines, keeping the craft from going down, but he could smell the strain on the motors. The engines would die very soon.
Josie pointed at the factory. "We have to get up there! But how?"

The animals wanted to help…
Suddenly four eagles onboard descended into the sky with the anchor of the Cruiser in their talons. They pulled the Cruiser toward the factory with all of their strength.
Luther cheered them on. "We're getting some help! Go Eagles!"

The eagles hooked the anchor to the factory wall. Then the raccoons, squirrels, mice, armadillos, opossums ran across the anchor cable and entered the factory, followed by Josie.
"I'll make sure they get to safety!"

The pigs sighed after such a close call. "We made it," Newton smiled.
The jumbo screen came back on. It was Dr. Sludge, with a towel wrapped him. Obviously his sludge bath had been interrupted.

"Is this on? Is it working? Hello? Good. Well, S.L.O.P., you managed to slow down my sludge with the lucky shot into the volcano caverns, but no matter. I have lots of sludge. Unfortunately for you, I only had my Sludge-O-Matic turned up to four. Now, I will turn it up…to TEN!!

Dr. Sludge hit a lever and the sludge SPEWED OUT like never before. Gallons and gallons per millisecond! More sludge than the pigs had ever seen. More sludge sludged into the earth than could drain out.
"You'll never be able to stop all of this sludge. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" He laughed his maniacal mad doctor laugh.
Dr. Sludge hit the side of his head, knocking a clump of sludge out of his ear.
"Sorry."

The pigs had no idea what to do or how to get out of this one. It was too much sludge.
At this rate, sludge would immerse the world, killing everything on it.

Then Max pointed at the screen. Luther saw it too.

Everyone watched as the squirrels, opossums, mice, armadillos and raccoons jumped on Dr. Sludge.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!"
As Dr. Sludge fell off screen, covered with animals biting and scratching him, Josie stepped in and looked at the camera. She waved. "Hi! We're okay! Look, the animals wanted to stop by and play with Dr. Sludge." Josie looked down at them and winced.
"Hey, you guys play nice."
The screen went to static.

Then the sludge stopped.
Every animal on the Cruiser let out an oink, moo, roar, chatter, squeak, growl, whatever sound it could make.
The earth was saved.

Luther shook Max's hoof. "Good job, Max. Thanks for coming through."
Max pulled a card out of his pocket. Luther read it aloud, "God's only given us one earth. We have to take care of it." Luther smiled. "I couldn't agree more."

Once everyone was safely out of the factory, Max blew it up…because he could.
Then the pigs and all the animals picked up the mess and disposed of it properly.
Dr. Sludge could never return and pollute the earth with his sludge again.

Back at the pig pen, S.L.O.P. invited every animal over for a mud pool party. Raccoons, squirrels, llamas, porcupines, even elephants, lions, zebras from all over the world showed up and ate stinky cheese, stale corn chips and apple cores.
Farmer G and his wife Honey watched the zoo creatures splash around in the mud.
"Reckon those pigs are having a party."

Yes, it was just another day cleaning up the world for the…Super League of Pigs!

© Troy Schmidt, 2006